My habits are so habitual

We've been studying and teaching about discipleship and a missional mindset over these last several weeks, with the goal of getting our minds right on these ideas before even attempting to do anything specific about it. It is our expectation that right actions will come from right thinking, and right habits will come from right actions.

This great theory, however, doesn't prevent me from my wrong habits that come from wrong actions that come from wrong thinking.

While moving Lynne's folks this week, my brother-in-law (Steve) and I did a McDonald's run for breakfast, since the kitchen had already been completely packed. (Although I consider fast food a bad habit in its own right, that's not where my story is going.) I had a very simple order - one eggwhite muffin combo, one #1 combo, and three #2 combos, all with coffee. To her credit, the gal working the counter was extremely creative in finding ways to fulfill the order by all methods except the correct one.

I confirmed three separate times that they were all combos with coffee. And yet, I had to stop her from filling sodas and to pour coffee instead, then from 3 coffees to 5, then from 3 hash browns to 5. The floor manager noted she had rung up the order incorrectly, which she shrugged off wordlessly. After all of that, I still never got my #1 combo. If I had wanted two eggwhite combos, I'm quite sure I would have said something other than "one eggwhite combo and one #1 combo." Never did she acknowledge an error, apologize, smile, or even try to change her original, determined plan.

Here's where my wrong thinking led to my habitually wrong action: My concern for this person, who God loves and who bears His image, was fleeting at best. In my habit, she existed only to feed me quickly, pleasantly, and without error. When she failed to exist in that manner, my main concern was getting the greasy, high-caloric, high-fat, oversalted breakfast (and coffee!!) that I was on a "mission" to get.

But my real mission is supposed to be to cultivate complete followers of Jesus (Matt 28:16-20). My real mission never really came to mind because of my habits, which came from my actions, which came from my thinking.

I want a new set of habits so that my first thought for people I encounter is to wonder how I can cultivate, even a little. How can I "loosen the lid"? By habit, I'm still more of a consumer than a cultivator. But ... my thinking is beginning to change (aided by a little indigestion, which reminded me of right priorities - bleh).

I retreated like a man

Last Thursday night and Friday, I was finally able to peel away for a personal retreat - 24 hours alone with the Lord and His Word at a retreat center nearby. These retreats are for turning off the world and focusing on prayer, reading, and even just resting. During these retreats, I also love to take long walks or go for bike rides, although I was a bit discouraged from that by the single-digit temperatures! I used to be in the habit of taking about one a month (plus a three-day retreat once a year), but fell out of the habit when I went back to school. I have yet to get back in the habit.

These retreats are almost always beneficial (I've had a few clunkers!) - there is a depth of relationship with the Lord that's just harder for me to experience in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life. I believe that's the model Jesus set for us when He would get away from the fray to be alone with His Father.

This retreat was by no means a clunker. I certainly could have been more focused during my time, but there were some rich times in the Word and in prayer. Some issues in life took on some good clarity, and there was just a sense of exhaling, instead of what feels like holding my breath for the last several weeks. I spent Thursday night just reading through Ezra, summarizing it, looking at the structure (which always helps me understand a book or a passage), and focusing in on his great prayer in chapter 9. You heard a little about my benefit from Ezra during the worship service on Sunday.

On Friday, it was also my goal to go through the stewardship worksheets that we've been handing out each week during our sermon series. I thought that maybe I could get some benefit from it, even though I'm the one who put the worksheets together. I was amazed at how much benefit I actually did get! I came to a lot of life decisions as a result - shifting priorities, clarifying my focus, adjusting our financial management, all kinds of good things.

One of the most important benefits is something I was already planning on talking about this Sunday, but the concept took on a far more personal, impacting, and even convicting nature during the retreat. The role of pastor's wife is difficult because it's hard to be of help when the husband simply cannot share much of his week because of professional confidentiality. Lynne and I have persistently looked for better ways for her gifts to make me more fruitful despite this limitation. The retreat yielded fruit here - one clear way that we can improve is to complete these worksheets individually, but then also  walk through our individual worksheets together and discuss them. Even more beneficial, however, will be to generate another set of worksheets for us as one flesh. Not just two full sets of worksheets, but one additional set that is for us together as a family, pulling ideas from the other two.

This is great for any couple, but I see particular benefit for a pastor and his wife. It will be a way for both of us to help the other, a way for us to draw closer together, a way to pull our "one flesh" lives into clearer focus, and to set our sights on stewarding the various arenas our lives for Christ more effectively than ever before.

I highly encourage you to do three things:

1. Complete the stewardship worksheets (or some other similar exercise to assess your life's priorities). We have copies available of all the worksheets we've introduced so far.
2. Per the message coming up on Sunday, go through the worksheets together as a couple, as a family, or with a trusted friend. Also consider coming up with a set for the family as a whole.
3. Make time at least once a year to spend alone with the Lord - away from all the noise, with nothing but a Bible and a way to journal, for no less than 24 hours. I usually have to get through at least two hours of "boredom" before I'm really ready to focus - that's just my body and mind going through "noise detox," but then finally I'm ready to meet with the Lord. Some of my richest times with the Lord have come during personal retreats (most of which started off "boring"!).

If you have any more questions about any of these three things, I'm here to help - just ask.