Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
"Can I join your secret club?"
"Can I join your secret men's club?"
I have heard this question a few times in the last month or so. On the one hand, I love the question, because it means that men are interested in a quiet experiment that we've been conducting. On the other had, I reel back at the question, because our quiet experiment was never intended to be a "secret club" that makes men feel left out.
In the words of Inigo Montoya, "Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up."
The speaker at the 2011 men's retreat, Ron Bennett, has co-authored a series of studies geared for men called HighQuest (http://www.highquest.info/overview.html). The idea intrigued us, primarily because the format of this series is unlike any men's study we've seen before.
The series is designed for men to disciple one another. The studies are not fill-in-the-blank workbooks, but guides that slowly introduce spiritual disciplines, and keep men in the same passage, but gives them enough freedom to focus on different parts of that passage. So, when the men come together, they have individually wrestled with God's Word without anyone guiding their answers to a foregone conclusion. But, since the men are all in the same passage, they can compare thoughts and learn from one another.
We decided that instead of having a big, church-wide big splash launch of Yet Another Program that Will Revolutionize Your Church But Will Last Only 6 Weeks Before the Enthusiasm Wanes, we decided to start small and without fanfare.
Four of us asked up to three other men to consider forming a HighQuest group. Then we just started meeting, each group at their own pace. In my group, we are four men who didn't really know each other that well coming into it. We have different church backgrounds, different experiences and habits, but the same desire to grow as men in Christ. I get every impression that all the groups are similar.
The feedback has been very positive across the board! I could list dozens of positive comments, but I think the most powerful statement is that after finishing book 1, we had a 100% return rate from all the groups for men wanting to do book 2. (There are 9 books total, about 10 to 12 weeks each.)
Starting in January, we are going to explain more about HighQuest and then invite more men to start more groups. Not a big program, not a big splash, and not the only good way to do men's groups. Just a lot of good experiences with a "quiet experiment."
My thanks to Chad Krizan for being our coordinator - he will be the one to organize the groups and get people started. But once the groups are started, they pretty much run at their own pace, take care of ordering their own books, and so on. This is one part of our continuing drive to realize our vision, which includes intentionally cultivating relationships in order to disciple our world for God's glory.
So, it's not a secret men's group. But we're about to go from "Beta testing" to production for those men who want to join in. And I have both personally experienced and observed in others real spiritual growth and an improving set of spiritual disciplines.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Retreating
This weekend is the annual Men's Retreat at Tall Oaks Conference Center. Our very special guest speaker is Pastor Bill Ross, who served as our interim pastor for almost two years (and serves as a personal mentor to me).
Years ago at a different church, my leaders and I instituted annual men's retreats (which they had not had for many years). We camped out, cooked on Coleman stoves, and had a great time discussing matters of faith and ministry. But it was at that retreat that I was able to encapsulate the value of men's retreats in just one sentence. It wasn't the material we studied. It wasn't that we had time away from the hustle and bustle. It wasn't the food (although the "Low Country Boil" and dutch oven Georgia peach cobbler were always a big hit). It was what one of the younger men said.
I asked him how he liked the retreat, and he said it was great! So, I asked him why (half-anticipating an answer that would boost my terrible ego). Rather, what he said was, "I didn't know the elders laughed." That was the most important takeaway for him. Of course, it was more than just learning the fact - it was getting to know the elders on a personal level.
I spent a lot of time with the elders, of course, and knew readily that they laughed a lot. But this very active member of the church did not. It was always business - church business - with the elders. It was never just about life and fun and joking around. All this man knew of the elders is that they were men who were serious about church business. At the retreat, he learned who they were as regular guys. That's the great value of men's retreats.
Not just that people get to know the elders in particular, but that they get to know each other outside of church business - just getting to know each other as men. That particular church, as well as Grace and many others, had lots of good fellowship ... in pockets, but not necessarily across the board. The men's retreat is about the best chance throughout the year to get to know the men of the church, especially those you don't get to spend much time with otherwise.
I'm looking forward to Bill's talks - we will learn a lot. I'm looking forward to the times of prayer, the activities, and peeling away from the hustle and bustle. But mainly, I'm looking forward to finding out each guy's individual laugh.
Years ago at a different church, my leaders and I instituted annual men's retreats (which they had not had for many years). We camped out, cooked on Coleman stoves, and had a great time discussing matters of faith and ministry. But it was at that retreat that I was able to encapsulate the value of men's retreats in just one sentence. It wasn't the material we studied. It wasn't that we had time away from the hustle and bustle. It wasn't the food (although the "Low Country Boil" and dutch oven Georgia peach cobbler were always a big hit). It was what one of the younger men said.
I asked him how he liked the retreat, and he said it was great! So, I asked him why (half-anticipating an answer that would boost my terrible ego). Rather, what he said was, "I didn't know the elders laughed." That was the most important takeaway for him. Of course, it was more than just learning the fact - it was getting to know the elders on a personal level.
I spent a lot of time with the elders, of course, and knew readily that they laughed a lot. But this very active member of the church did not. It was always business - church business - with the elders. It was never just about life and fun and joking around. All this man knew of the elders is that they were men who were serious about church business. At the retreat, he learned who they were as regular guys. That's the great value of men's retreats.
Not just that people get to know the elders in particular, but that they get to know each other outside of church business - just getting to know each other as men. That particular church, as well as Grace and many others, had lots of good fellowship ... in pockets, but not necessarily across the board. The men's retreat is about the best chance throughout the year to get to know the men of the church, especially those you don't get to spend much time with otherwise.
I'm looking forward to Bill's talks - we will learn a lot. I'm looking forward to the times of prayer, the activities, and peeling away from the hustle and bustle. But mainly, I'm looking forward to finding out each guy's individual laugh.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
An Important Conference in Olathe on Purity
Several weeks ago, we had an important message about sexual purity. Dr. Ratliff and I shared some of the effects, causes, and helpful resources for dealing with the epidemic of impurity that is affecting every aspect of our society, including the Church. Your comments were very positive about how we addressed the topic in a straightforward, non-judgmental way. There were a number of people who have started taking steps toward more purity in their own lives, which is fantastic news!
We don't intend to put this topic to rest. We need to talk about it frequently and in different ways. Several of you asked us to make sure we don't ignore this topic going forward. We won't.
To that end, I want to recommend to you three related conferences coming to the Kansas City area (hosted conveniently in Olathe), all on this topic of purity. These conferences are designed to address many different aspects of purity, through both plenary talks and breakout sessions. Dr. Ratliff will be one of the breakout session leaders.
The conference for men is "Men of Valor" (Jan 27 - 28), the conference for women is "Women of Virtue" (Feb 3 - 4), and the conference for both college students and youth is "Youth 4 Truth" (Jan 27 - 28). Both the men's and women's conferences include both genders for the Friday night portion of their respective conferences. The college and youth conference has different venues for each gender. You can register for any of them at http://kcmov.eventbrite.com/.
There is no one who is unable to benefit from these conferences - they are not just for those who have acute struggles in the area of purity. Purity is a topic that we all need to learn more about, especially living in a culture that is progressively more sexualized - a trend that our children will face even more strongly that we have. These events are for everyone.
Please consider attending the conference that applies to you. They are not that expensive, and well worth it.
And we won't be done with this topic after the conferences. We will continue to lift one another up in this difficult area of life.
We don't intend to put this topic to rest. We need to talk about it frequently and in different ways. Several of you asked us to make sure we don't ignore this topic going forward. We won't.
To that end, I want to recommend to you three related conferences coming to the Kansas City area (hosted conveniently in Olathe), all on this topic of purity. These conferences are designed to address many different aspects of purity, through both plenary talks and breakout sessions. Dr. Ratliff will be one of the breakout session leaders.
The conference for men is "Men of Valor" (Jan 27 - 28), the conference for women is "Women of Virtue" (Feb 3 - 4), and the conference for both college students and youth is "Youth 4 Truth" (Jan 27 - 28). Both the men's and women's conferences include both genders for the Friday night portion of their respective conferences. The college and youth conference has different venues for each gender. You can register for any of them at http://kcmov.eventbrite.com/.
There is no one who is unable to benefit from these conferences - they are not just for those who have acute struggles in the area of purity. Purity is a topic that we all need to learn more about, especially living in a culture that is progressively more sexualized - a trend that our children will face even more strongly that we have. These events are for everyone.
Please consider attending the conference that applies to you. They are not that expensive, and well worth it.
And we won't be done with this topic after the conferences. We will continue to lift one another up in this difficult area of life.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Real Men Don't Retreat
It's been a few years, but the men of Grace are having a retreat. In this case, real men do retreat. We have paintball on Friday afternoon, dinner and a team competition Friday night, plus some time to just hang out and talk. On Saturday: breakfast, more teaching, more food, and some unscheduled time. After lunch, we'll have time for straight talk about what men's ministries needs next.
Great thanks to Bob Simmons for all his work on getting the logistics together. Clearly, this is a far better retreat because he did this and not me. If I had done it, we'll be eating PB&J off of paper plates and sleeping on the porch. Thanks, Bob, for bringing your skills.
Also thanks to Jack Finley for getting this whole idea off the ground. He got the right people in place, got us pointed in the right direction, and sorted out big picture decisions. Again, if it had been left up to me, I would have announced the idea just three days before it was supposed to happen.
Our teaching will not consume the entire retreat. The main feature is not the teaching, but the fellowship. We want this retreat to be mostly about the men of Grace building stronger friendships ... and shooting each other with paintball guns. Somehow, those are supposed to go together. Manly men make friends by shooting each other ... something like that.
Ladies, thanks for making it possible for us to peel away. I pray that your investment will reap dividends. Would you support us even more by setting aside time to pray for the retreat?
And at the retreat, I'll explain what this picture means:
Great thanks to Bob Simmons for all his work on getting the logistics together. Clearly, this is a far better retreat because he did this and not me. If I had done it, we'll be eating PB&J off of paper plates and sleeping on the porch. Thanks, Bob, for bringing your skills.
Also thanks to Jack Finley for getting this whole idea off the ground. He got the right people in place, got us pointed in the right direction, and sorted out big picture decisions. Again, if it had been left up to me, I would have announced the idea just three days before it was supposed to happen.
Our teaching will not consume the entire retreat. The main feature is not the teaching, but the fellowship. We want this retreat to be mostly about the men of Grace building stronger friendships ... and shooting each other with paintball guns. Somehow, those are supposed to go together. Manly men make friends by shooting each other ... something like that.
Ladies, thanks for making it possible for us to peel away. I pray that your investment will reap dividends. Would you support us even more by setting aside time to pray for the retreat?
And at the retreat, I'll explain what this picture means:
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Men and Women of God
I am in the home stretch of pursuing my thesis. As part of that thesis, we are offering a class on gender issues starting August 22. This is a controversial issue, but after having taught this material before, I have found that we have a lot of ideas in this course that many Christians have never been taught before.
Are there unique roles in Christ based on gender, and if so, what are they? Under the Christian umbrella, the entire spectrum is presently being taught – from a strict hierarchical view to a total egalitarian view, and everything in between. And each end of the spectrum claims to be teaching merely what the Bible teaches. How do we navigate through all the noise? Our course charts a somewhat unique path through Scripture, finding a clear, consistent model that challenges both the traditional and modern teachings.
One of the most common criticisms of the evangelical church is that they teach the suppression of women. In some cases, that charge is sadly correct. In other cases, the church doesn’t know how to articulate their view in a convincing way to those outside the church, which only leads to misunderstandings. The Bible does not teach the suppression of women – and yet it does teach some differences in our roles based on gender. How do we understand the differences without suppressing anyone? How can we articulate to a skeptical world that the church is the place for women who have many strengths without jettisoning Biblical teachings? This course should help us formulate this ideas clearly.
What do we teach women about their godly responsibilities in those cases when the man is not fulfilling his? Do we take the small-minded view and tell her to “submit anyway?” Do we find a escape clause for her that’s not found anywhere in Scripture? Do we declare the Bible out-of-date and tell her to ignore what “used to be taught” in the church? The Bible gives us simpler answers than these.
What do we teach men about their role in those areas where their wives are better gifted than they are? Do we enforce headship anyway? Do we abdicate headship in those areas? Again, the Bible has better answers than these.
The gender issues are clearly pertinent for those who are (or soon will be) married. But what about singles? Are there gender-specific teachings in Scripture for single people, too? Yes!
Please plan on joining us in starting August 22 for this twelve-week course. The class will be taught during the Sunday School hour, and then repeated at a second venue during the week (to be determined) - pick either one. If you have a preference on which night to have the second venue, please get your votes to me.
I'm asking to have at least 12 couples sign up to take the survey (twice) and answer a few direct questions in order to gather the data I need to finish my thesis. Please prayerfully consider participating in this survey data as well.
Are there unique roles in Christ based on gender, and if so, what are they? Under the Christian umbrella, the entire spectrum is presently being taught – from a strict hierarchical view to a total egalitarian view, and everything in between. And each end of the spectrum claims to be teaching merely what the Bible teaches. How do we navigate through all the noise? Our course charts a somewhat unique path through Scripture, finding a clear, consistent model that challenges both the traditional and modern teachings.
One of the most common criticisms of the evangelical church is that they teach the suppression of women. In some cases, that charge is sadly correct. In other cases, the church doesn’t know how to articulate their view in a convincing way to those outside the church, which only leads to misunderstandings. The Bible does not teach the suppression of women – and yet it does teach some differences in our roles based on gender. How do we understand the differences without suppressing anyone? How can we articulate to a skeptical world that the church is the place for women who have many strengths without jettisoning Biblical teachings? This course should help us formulate this ideas clearly.
What do we teach women about their godly responsibilities in those cases when the man is not fulfilling his? Do we take the small-minded view and tell her to “submit anyway?” Do we find a escape clause for her that’s not found anywhere in Scripture? Do we declare the Bible out-of-date and tell her to ignore what “used to be taught” in the church? The Bible gives us simpler answers than these.
What do we teach men about their role in those areas where their wives are better gifted than they are? Do we enforce headship anyway? Do we abdicate headship in those areas? Again, the Bible has better answers than these.
The gender issues are clearly pertinent for those who are (or soon will be) married. But what about singles? Are there gender-specific teachings in Scripture for single people, too? Yes!
Please plan on joining us in starting August 22 for this twelve-week course. The class will be taught during the Sunday School hour, and then repeated at a second venue during the week (to be determined) - pick either one. If you have a preference on which night to have the second venue, please get your votes to me.
I'm asking to have at least 12 couples sign up to take the survey (twice) and answer a few direct questions in order to gather the data I need to finish my thesis. Please prayerfully consider participating in this survey data as well.
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