Lord, please don't let me be a slobbering mess

This weekend, I have the staggering privilege of officiating my niece's wedding near Dallas. I've performed a number of weddings - not dozens and dozens, but enough to have a variety of experiences. The level of crying at these weddings has ranged from zero to moderate to the longest snot-rope I've ever seen dangling from anyone's nose, let alone a bride's. My concern this time is whether or not I will keep it all together - this will be the first time I've officiated for a family member, and the first time for someone I once held as a baby.

I remember the first wedding I officiated. I was still in seminary while serving at a church. Two of my close seminary friends got engaged and asked me to do their premarital counseling and officiate their wedding. At first, it was all exciting adventure into new territory and I jumped in with eagerness, a tiny measure of fear, and a paltry sense that I knew what I was doing. But these were two friends also going through seminary, and they graciously empathized all the way.

On the day of the wedding, exactly 5 minutes before we were supposed to walk out into the sanctuary, I realized something I had somehow never thought of before. I can't do this!!! Who am I to declare two people married? Wait a minute ... just because I say a few words and sign a document, poof! my two friends are now suddenly husband and wife? Hocus pocus, abracadabra, Turtle Power! And now they are united in a covenant before God and have a new legal status before the state. I can't do that! That's only for real pastors.

My head spun, I actually checked to see where the exit was, and I started drumming up excuses. Failing to find a good enough excuse, I just walked out there and started what we had planned on. It turned out to be a fun, joyful, and memorable wedding. Not primarily because of me ... which means I succeeded in just kickstarting the ceremonial part of it and then getting out of the way.

Today, this couple has four wonderful, fun-loving kids and are living in Spain serving as missionaries, learning anew how to thrive in a different setting as a family.

Then I mentally run through all the other couples for whom I've had this honor, and I see parents, expecting parents, adoptive parents, and future parents. I see people building a household, involved in their communities, influencing others, and even helping younger couples prepare for marriage. I see them post their joys and challenges online, with snapshots of living life as family.

I'm taking no credit for that - not in the least. Rather, I'm reveling in the amazing privilege it is to stand before a couple and before God and look past the horizon to envision all that can blossom from marriage. The trials, difficulties, and disappointments are all real, but what can multiply from marriage is enough to make a grown man cry. Especially an uncle standing before his niece, a young man (who had better watch his step!), and God.

Maybe I could go for that snot-rope record...

Men and Women of God

I am in the home stretch of pursuing my thesis. As part of that thesis, we are offering a class on gender issues starting August 22. This is a controversial issue, but after having taught this material before, I have found that we have a lot of ideas in this course that many Christians have never been taught before.

Are there unique roles in Christ based on gender, and if so, what are they? Under the Christian umbrella, the entire spectrum is presently being taught – from a strict hierarchical view to a total egalitarian view, and everything in between. And each end of the spectrum claims to be teaching merely what the Bible teaches. How do we navigate through all the noise? Our course charts a somewhat unique path through Scripture, finding a clear, consistent model that challenges both the traditional and modern teachings.

One of the most common criticisms of the evangelical church is that they teach the suppression of women. In some cases, that charge is sadly correct. In other cases, the church doesn’t know how to articulate their view in a convincing way to those outside the church, which only leads to misunderstandings. The Bible does not teach the suppression of women – and yet it does teach some differences in our roles based on gender. How do we understand the differences without suppressing anyone? How can we articulate to a skeptical world that the church is the place for women who have many strengths without jettisoning Biblical teachings? This course should help us formulate this ideas clearly.

What do we teach women about their godly responsibilities in those cases when the man is not fulfilling his? Do we take the small-minded view and tell her to “submit anyway?” Do we find a escape clause for her that’s not found anywhere in Scripture? Do we declare the Bible out-of-date and tell her to ignore what “used to be taught” in the church? The Bible gives us simpler answers than these.

What do we teach men about their role in those areas where their wives are better gifted than they are? Do we enforce headship anyway? Do we abdicate headship in those areas? Again, the Bible has better answers than these.

The gender issues are clearly pertinent for those who are (or soon will be) married. But what about singles? Are there gender-specific teachings in Scripture for single people, too? Yes!

Please plan on joining us in starting August 22 for this twelve-week course. The class will be taught during the Sunday School hour, and then repeated at a second venue during the week (to be determined) - pick either one. If you have a preference on which night to have the second venue, please get your votes to me.

I'm asking to have at least 12 couples sign up to take the survey (twice) and answer a few direct questions in order to gather the data I need to finish my thesis. Please prayerfully consider participating in this survey data as well.