An Experiment in Prayer

I have heard dozens of teachings on "the Lord's Prayer" (also called "the Model Prayer") found in Matthew 6:6-13. This is in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount, in a sequence of statements in which Jesus says "you have heard" some teaching from the Old Testament or the Pharisees, "but I say to you" something even more demanding for righteousness. In this particular paragraph, He's teaching about prayer. He then tells them to pray "this way," and begins the familiar prayer, "Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored..." Or perhaps your more familiar with a different translation, "Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed by Thy name..."

In these dozens of teachings, I heard very careful (and accurate) analyses of each phrase and how we ought to pray that way, because Jesus said, "Pray this way." I value all the teaching I've received on this.

But I want to add a different angle to the mix, not to replace the good teaching, but to supplement it. Given that Jesus is continually discipling His followers to form them into people who resemble Him well, we can assume He is doing this formation as He teaches us to pray. So, in this model prayer, He's not only telling us how to approach God in prayer, but He's also trying to form us into a particular kind of people. Through praying, He wants us to be changed. He gives us prayer not only as a way to dialog with God, but also as a means to be discipled into Christlikeness.

So, let's look at the Model Prayer in terms of what Jesus wants us to become, and then look at how it might affect praying for something specific. For our purposes, I choose a troubled relationship to pray about as an example.

Fearing (Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored,)

God wants us to be fearing, to be people who fear, honor, and respect God with a sense of awe. This opening to the prayer is not instruction on how to "butter up" God for your requests, but to be a particular kind of person, approaching Him in prayer with a particular attitude and self-awareness.

In the example of praying about a strained relationship, I might pray, "Father, may the way I approach this relationship bring you honor. May our friendship be worthy of Your awesome and mighty name. Make me to be a person who brings honor to You with my friendships." This is a very different prayer than, "Lord, change this person" or "Father, help me to be more tolerant of this jerk."

Missional (may your kingdom come,)

God wants us to be missional, to have His Kingdom be our life goal, our every aspiration. He wants us to carry out the Great Commission of making disciples of all nations. He wants us to use our time, talents, and treasures for the good of His Kingdom, to live here and now based on the Kingdom's values, and to bring tangible elements of the Kingdom to those around us - for His Kingdom to manifest in part now and then to come in full later.

Therefore, I might pray, "Lord, my relationship right now is not running according to the character of your Kingdom. May your Kingdom come into this relationship, and may the two of us collaborate to advance Your Kingdom. May our relationship now be just like it will be when Your Kingdom has fully arrived." This is more immediate than praying that the end of time would come soon so that the Kingdom would be fully established, and then I don't have to suffer this person's annoying behavior any longer!

Submissive (may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.)

God wants us to be submissive, to surrender our will to His. Jesus did this beautifully in the Garden of Gethsemane just before He was crucified by praying, "Not my will, but Yours be done."

I could pray, "Lord, I'm not really submissive to you right now in my relationship with so-and-so. Regardless of this person's problems, I'm not really pulling for your will in this - I want mine. Change me to be eager for Your will in this relationship. I surrender ... I want to be a fully surrendered person, even in this." Wow - this one hurts when praying about a relationship!

Dependent (Give us today our daily bread,)

God wants us to be dependent, which is brilliantly captured with the idea of daily bread - the stuff I need to get through just one day. And then the next day, I'll depend on God some more. This is the kind of person God wants us to be.

So, my prayer changes. "Father, I have been relying on myself and on my fleshly strength, and worse, I have been pursuing what my selfishness wants in this relationship. You want me to rely on You for this relationship, for You to give me the love, the patience, and the attitude. I need You for this relationship to be healthy. Help me to love well. I depend on You for this relationship. Let me walk dependently in all my relationships."

Free (and forgive us our debts, as we ourselves have forgiven our debtors.)

God wants us to be free - free from our sins ("debts") through forgiveness, but also free from the sins against us (by our "debtors") through forgiving them. Only through forgiveness that we first receive and then grant can we be truly free people.

Then I should pray, "Lord, the relationship between You and me is based on forgiveness. In this case, it's all You forgiving me. My relationship with this other person will only be to Your pleasure through the same forgiveness. But in this case, that's each of us forgiving the other. Help me to be changed by Your forgiveness, to grant forgiveness freely to the other, and even to receive the forgiveness that the other offers me. Help me to be a forgiving kind of friend always."

Holy (And do not lead us into temptation,)

God wants us to be holy, to avoid sin and to escape the temptations to enter into sin. His forgiveness makes us holy through the blood of Christ, but holy living on a daily basis as our practice requires us to change our practices, too. In the Model Prayer, Jesus instructs us to pray for God to help us be holy.

So, I would pray, "Father, in this relationship, I have impure, hurtful, judgmental, and sometimes hateful thoughts. Lead me away from that, not just to have a better relationship, but because of who You want me to be in this relationship - a person who lives according to holiness, even in my friendships."

Rescued (but deliver us from the evil one.)
Finally, God wants us to be rescued (which is what deliver means in this verse). In other words, He wants us to live knowing that He rescued us from ourselves, and so we are a perpetually rescued people, in God's blessings only because of his mercy to rescue us. It's the blood of Jesus that rescued us, so every breath we take was purchased by the rescuing blood. We have an enemy who opposes us because we follow Christ - we have been rescued from him, but also need daily rescue from his continued attacks. We live perpetually with a rescued identity, which should keep us humble.

Therefore, my prayer might be, "Lord, I need rescue in this relationship. Satan wants to have us at each others' throats, and frankly, I've been pretty accommodating. I need rescue from my anger and my desire to 'even the score' with this person. But I have been rescued by Christ, and I also need rescue in this moment. Help me to always live out all my relationships as a rescued one."

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This is not radically different from other teachings we've received, and I would be worried if it was. It is, rather, a different entry point into the same model prayer - to focus the ideas of this prayer onto who God wants me to be, to see the characteristics Jesus is developing in us by praying as He prayed and turning those characteristics into the heart of prayer.

So, I'm conducting a little experiment for a while. Not forever. I'm not saying that this is the way for me to pray for the rest of my life. But I'm going to experiment until the experiment runs dry by intentionally praying along these lines. Already I've seen some barriers broken in my prayer life and in my daily life, simply because I'm praying in a different way. I'm eager to see how the experiment goes.

For this experiment, I've printed out the following list just to remind me. You might print this out and stick it in your Bible and guide your prayers through this for a while. Experiment some yourself.

God wants us to be:

Fearing (Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored,)
Missional (may your kingdom come,)
Submissive (may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.)
Dependent (Give us today our daily bread,)
Free (and forgive us our debts, as we ourselves have forgiven our debtors.)
Holy (And do not lead us into temptation,)
Rescued (but deliver us from the evil one.)

Does My Effort Matter?

God is sovereign. Completely. Everything is under His control, nothing happens unless He at least allows to happen, if not directly makes it happen. He has guaranteed the final score before the first pitch. The Bible says that it's not just that God knows what's going to happen, but that He's the one who will make it happen.

So, does my effort matter? I can't thwart God's plan. I can't change the outcome (can I?). I certainly can't alter God's eternal plan. The Bible seems to care a lot about whether or not I do certain things, but does it really matter, since I can't alter the final score that's been fixed from before the world began?

Among theologians, these questions are part of a much larger debate which (sadly) can cause division among brothers in Christ. But in real life for normal people, it really comes down to the very practical question: Does my effort matter? And if it does, how so? And if not, then why bother?

Does my effort matter? You probably anticipated this answer: yes and no.

In one sense, no, your effort doesn't matter. Sorry, but God's plan is not so fragile as to teeter on whether or not you do something. He's completely, totally, effectively, conclusively sovereign, and He will execute His eternal plan no matter what you do. His confidence for the outcome of His plan is not merely based on the fact that He knows how it all turns out - His confidence comes from the fact that He is God, and because He is God, there is no other possible outcome than His plan.

But in another sense, yes, your effort does matter. Consider:

• We can participate in God's plan: Technically, everyone is always participating in God's plan, either for it or against, either wittingly or unwittingly, because no one is exempt from God's comprehensive plan. But we have the opportunity to be willing participants working for God's purpose rather than against it. That's a privilege! When the end comes, we will have either been active participants in what God accomplished, or non-participants, or even antagonists. Personally, I really like the first of those three options.
• We can be the kind of person God is making us to be. By participating actively in God's purpose, we are being what God wants. To be a believer in Jesus Christ, but inactive in God's plan, is to be a living contradiction. Even though I can't change the final score, I can either live consistently with His plan or live inconsistently with His plan. What kind of people does God want us to be - those who live in concert with His purpose and plan or those who clash with them?
• We can glorify God. By living a life that reflects what God is doing in the world, we bring Him glory. God is glorified by whatever reflects His character. Applying ourselves to His purpose reflects His character, and therefore glorifies Him. Don't tell me that doesn't matter.
• We can be how God executes His plan. Yes, God is completely sovereign and will accomplish His purpose, but God accomplishes a lot of His purpose through people. His sovereign plan that existed before the world began includes those through whom He will accomplish His plan. Our actions matter because our actions are part of what God sovereignly uses to execute His plan.

Part of our problem with this question is that we have a very Western mindset, which is focused on results. Actions are meaningful only if they produce the desired results. We look at God's sovereignty and how He will get His results no matter what we do, and we conclude our actions don't matter. However, our Western way is not the only way to discover what's meaningful. Meaning is also found in being. By being a certain kind of people (who do certain things because of who we are), we have meaning in God's economy. In other words, God has value for us not only in what we accomplish, but in who we are. Being completely willing  participants in His plan is valuable, no matter how it may affect the outcome.

Knowing God's Will 101

What would life be like if we always knew God's will for our lives? Would things be radically different if we had a clear understanding of what it was that God wanted us to do? Would I work differently? Would I be busy about different things? Would I sell some of my possessions or take risks I don't presently take? Would my relationships be more genuine and less judgmental? Would I be more forgiving, more focused, more on fire, more prayerful, more active, more faithful, more generous? It seems like life would have more clarity and be simpler if I just knew what God's will for me was.

I work on the assumption that God always gives us everything we need in order for us to do as He pleases. It's just a basic assumption about the nature of God - that He always equips us to do, say, and think what He wants from us. He may equip us with natural talent, with supernatural gifting, with divine help, with His Word, with wise counsel and good friends, and with knowledge. This doesn't mean that He gives us now everything we will ever need for the rest of our lives, but for the day and for the moment, He supplies all that we need one way or another. Psalm 16:11 has this same confidence, "You will make known to me the path of life."

If this assumption is true - and the bulk of Scripture seems to bear it out - then that means that God is in fact also giving us all the knowledge we need of His will for the moment. At any given moment, God has already revealed enough of His will for you to act, do, think, and speak according to His pleasure - for that moment. Perhaps not enough for the moment that follows, but for this one. When that next moment comes, He will have revealed enough for that one, too. Every Biblical hero lived a life of having enough revelation for the moment, even if not for the next. If He always gives us all that we need, then that means He always gives us enough revelation, too.

That may not be all the revelation that we want to have. We may want to know what we're supposed to do for a big life decision, but not sense Him revealing an answer. But if He never fails to provide for the moment, that means we have access to enough to live that moment well, even if we don't see the answer to the big question written on the wall. We may want to know which college to attend, but instead of revealing the answer to that question, God has revealed what to do right now - seek counsel, pray, listen, and wait. We may want to know about a career choice, but He's already revealed to us to work today with integrity, to work diligently to help the company succeed, and to see our coworkers as people who need Christ's love and forgiveness.

There are many things about us that may affect our ability to access His revelation: unwillingness to do what He wants, lack of interest in knowing His will, the distraction of sin that blinds our eyes and clogs our ears, or even just not being well-practiced in paying attention and heeding His will by faith. But He always gives enough.

This means a shift in thinking. To live with the assumption that God has in fact at every moment revealed enough to me to live that moment well, then I don't need to think, "I would do God's will if I just knew what it was." Rather, I need to think, "God has already revealed to me enough of His will for now. What has He revealed? What can I do to be a better listener and follower? I'm asking Him to reveal X, but He's not done that, so what has He revealed? What do I already know about His will to just get busy?"

I find that most often, we already know most of what we're supposed to do. We already know the character and manner in which we're supposed to relate to people and work. We already know that each of us has some responsibility for the Great Commission to make followers of Jesus throughout the world. Sometimes, we even know which decision He wants us to make - we just don't want to or are afraid to.

If we busy ourselves with what we already know to do and practice better and better listening skills through experience, then so many times I've found He uses that kind of faithful action to reveal more of what He wants us to do with our lives. In other words, as you search out His will, be busy doing what He's already revealed for you to do, and I believe He will use that to reveal even more of His will to you. I've seen it way too many times to even doubt this idea any longer.

What would life be like if we always knew God's will for our lives? Would things be radically different if we had a clear understanding of what it was that God wanted us to do? Would I work, think, act, speak, relate, risk, witness, live, pray differently? Yes! And if this assumption is correct, then we already know enough to work, think, act, speak, relate, risk, witness, live, and pray differently. We already have enough to have Kingdom priorities that are radically different than the world's priorities. It begins with the assumption that God will always reveal enough for every moment.

Decision-making

OK, so I'm going to solve the problem of how to make decisions in 300 words or less. OK, so ... maybe not.

The process of making decisions compresses thousands of years of theology into a single moment. In making a decision, you bring in the theology of God's sovereignty, the theology of man's freedom to choose, the theology of the role of the Holy Spirit, the theology of the wisdom of the Bible, and several other theologies all into the practical, daily activity to choosing A instead of B. Whew!

So, how do we do this well? Do we wait on major decisions until we believe the Spirit reveals His will to us? Do we just go with our best guess and ask the Lord to bless it? Do we make minor decisions one way, but major decisions another way? If we make a wrong decision, are we outside of God's will? And if so, how do we get back "in"?

First, I recommend a book co-authored by a friend of mine called Decision-Making and the Will of God (found on Amazon here). The authors take the approach that 1) if God has a specific thing He wants you to do, He will not encrypt it into a puzzle that you have to be clever enough to decipher by reading events like tea leaves, and 2) the wealth of wisdom literature in the Bible is there for a reason - when He does not have one single specific thing He wants, He gives us wisdom to make one of many possible God-pleasing choices.

Second, our own personal experience has taught us a few things along the way. When making a decision, of course we do all the things we know to do: pray over many days or weeks (and listen!), seek out several wise counselors, read His Word for guidance, discuss together, praying some more, patiently weigh our options  using wisdom to evaluate everything, and praying yet some more. On several occasions, we have eventually come to the point where the choice we should make becomes clearer and clearer. The question for us changes at that point from "What should we do?" to "Do we have the courage to actually make this decision?" The question goes from wanting information to a matter of the will and of trust.

But, there are times that even through all this process, the best decision was still not clear to us. What do we do then? If we have earnestly pursued all these avenues with openness and patience, and still we're not sure, we have on several occasions tried an approach that has been very helpful to us.

We eventually conclude that we need to make our best-effort decision. And then we pray, "Lord, we're not sure what to do, but this is our best decision we can make. We're going to take a step forward in faith. If we're on the wrong path, please stop us." Then we take a step forward on faith. Then we pray again, "OK, Lord, here we go ... stop us if we're going in the wrong direction." And then we observe.

What we have found on several occasions is that after taking that step of faith and checking back with the Lord, He will then either affirm the decision or show us it's not a good step. It seems that He does not, however, affirm or contradict our decision until after we take the step of faith. If we don't step out, we don't get any more clarity. If we do, He has often at that point let us know His will.

At times, it means we need to retreat and try something else. Other times, He has clearly affirmed the choice, and it become even clearer that it is a direction that He enjoys for us to take.

It's important to remember, though, to hold your decisions with an open hand and earnestly ask Him if you're walking in the best direction, allowing Him to redirect you. If you're not really willing to be redirected, then asking anyway just makes a sham of it. That willingness to accept whatever He wants is crucial!

I believe that doing all you can to make the right decision, checking before and after with the Lord, and especially by taking a step of faith, we have discovered His will for our lives on particular decisions. It's important not to leave out any aspect of this practice.

I would love to hear from others who approach decisions this way and how that has resulted for you.