My Greatest Ignorances

I don't know what it's like to be an African American. I rarely have to "read" the room when I enter, I usually don't have to wonder whether someone is responding to me based on who I am or based on my skin color. I've never had some people telling me I'm "too black" and others telling me that I'm "not black enough." Even when I've been the minority in our neighborhood in LA and in Kenya, I so infrequently fall victim to racism that I can't say that I've had to endure it. So even though I can have an opinion about racism, it's only from theory, not from experience. Therefore, let me measure my words about racism humbly.

I don't know what it's like to be a Syrian refugee. I do know what it's like to see homelessness and I do know what it's like to worry about the worst that could happen. But I don't know what it's like to go through what they are going through. And to be fair, when we're talking about that many people, we cannot say anything that would be true of every single one of them. Therefore, let me exceed my fear with a greater measure of compassion.

I don't know what's it's like to have been deeply wounded by a church or a religious leader. And so I don't have any way to understand someone's anger and bitterness toward the church. I can't tell you much about what you "ought" to do next in your life until I know more about the story of your life. I can't expect you to understand my church context if your church context is one of wounding and mistrust. Therefore, let me listen and understand your pain rather than tell you what you ought to feel.

I don't know what it's like to be financially poor. Even when I was in college living on mac and cheese with hot dogs, I wasn't poor. I had parents who would catch me if I needed it. I had a job good enough to keep the lights on, so I never got in that downward cycle of paying even more just to get the lights turned back on. I have never worried if I would have enough groceries. I never had to ask "Gas or bread?" I have never known what material poverty does to one's self-identity. Therefore, let me be more concerned about someone's self-identity than their bank balance.

I don't know what it's like to be financially rich. I've imagined it. Of course, my imagination is always optimistic. I don't know what it's like for others to feel like I'm obligated to them because I have plenty. Not really. I don't know the struggle of knowing when a nice car is too nice. Not really. I'm not constantly told I must be greedy and uncaring to have so much. I don't have people trying to build a "friendship" with me because they just want to get a large donation from me. And I don't know when giving too much actually hurts a church from all members being sacrificial givers as they ought. Therefore, again, let me be more concerned about someone's self-identity than their bank balance.

I don't know what it's like to be a representative, a senator, or a president. I don't know what it's like to make thousands unhappy by making decisions based on information that can't be made public. I've heard personal stories from a former representative who was pressured hard by his own party to compromise his personal convictions in order to gain political advantage, but I've never lived that. I have only watched this grown man reduced to tears. I really don't know what it's like to always make half of your audience mad no matter what. Therefore, let me refuse to spend more energy tearing leaders down than helping them do good things.

I don't know what it's like come from a single-parent household. It took me a long time to understand why other kids liked hanging out at our house. I thought it was me! But mostly, it was that our house was stable, peaceful, and predictable - steady and a bit mundane. I never had my lone parent necessarily absent just to pay the rent. I never had to lay my head on different pillows every few nights, or worse, never lay my head down on a pillow under the same roof as one of my parents. I never had to want a marriage completely different than my folks' had. Therefore, let me add a little of what's lacking for those who need some days that are just steady and a bit mundane.

I don't know what it's like to be divorced. Lots of people do, but I can't identify with it. I don't know what it's like to be released from an abusive relationship, and I don't know what it's like to have bad go to worse because reconciliation was unattainable. I don't know what it's like to divide time with children and struggle financially trying to pay for two households. I've never had most everything in my life defined by divorce. Therefore, let me be at least one thing in someone's life that isn't defined by divorce.

I don't know what it's like to be you. I never will. All the good, all the bad - I'll never know. And so, I'll never really know how my words, my actions, and even the looks on my face affect you. I won't ever know how your history will filter my intentions. There are times that I so very much want to tell you what to do and why, and sometimes, I even have the right answer. But I will invariably be astonished when you don't react as I would. Therefore, may I always help you be a better you and never expect you to be a better me.

I've Seen Scared Men

I've seen a man scared to die. I've looked in his eyes as they darted from my eyes to the ground to the ceiling, and then to some faraway, unreachable thought. I've heard the tremor in his voice as he used manly words to describe weakness and fear. He doesn't believe the rationalizations he speaks as he grasps for phantom answers. The clock didn't move any faster or slower for him - it marched steadily toward the moment that death may actually arrive.

I've seen a man scared to live. He slumped on the floor, a living pile of inertia. He wept, he swore, he hated me and was so glad I was there, he cursed those closest to him. He did everything but move. Or hope. He weighed the price it would cost to continue breathing as he would silver coins at the market, and wasn't convinced of the bargain. He would not be moved until he chose to, and I wasn't sure he would.

I've seen a man scared to fail. Frozen by unending "what ifs?", he dared not choose A or B. A could be ruinous, but B could be disastrous. C was certain chaos and so was never even discussed. People might be harmed, he might be fired, the company might make a mint - or spend one. He consumed more time trying to find who could make the decision for him than finding the solution. Anything to escape what he feared. At least the status quo was undisastrous.

I've seen a man scared to succeed. The accolades first brought pride, then satisfaction, and then fear. A little success is good, but now they might expect more. "If I do more, what if I succeed more? Can I handle it?" All he wanted to do is go places, and now it looks like he's going places, but he's not sure he still likes the destination. That place gets lot of attention (scrutiny); that place has a lot of responsibility (blame); that place elevates (a higher perch to fall from).

I know a Man scared of nothing. He was not scared to die, which then gave me life. He was not scared to live, and so He bore my sorrows and knew my temptations. He was not scared to fail, because He knew that He was on an infallible mission. He was not scared to succeed, even though everyone around Him thought it was a failure. I have looked in the eyes of those who fear, and I have seen life through fearful eyes. I can go forward not because I have enough courage, but because I know the Man scared of nothing.

Knowing God's Will 101

What would life be like if we always knew God's will for our lives? Would things be radically different if we had a clear understanding of what it was that God wanted us to do? Would I work differently? Would I be busy about different things? Would I sell some of my possessions or take risks I don't presently take? Would my relationships be more genuine and less judgmental? Would I be more forgiving, more focused, more on fire, more prayerful, more active, more faithful, more generous? It seems like life would have more clarity and be simpler if I just knew what God's will for me was.

I work on the assumption that God always gives us everything we need in order for us to do as He pleases. It's just a basic assumption about the nature of God - that He always equips us to do, say, and think what He wants from us. He may equip us with natural talent, with supernatural gifting, with divine help, with His Word, with wise counsel and good friends, and with knowledge. This doesn't mean that He gives us now everything we will ever need for the rest of our lives, but for the day and for the moment, He supplies all that we need one way or another. Psalm 16:11 has this same confidence, "You will make known to me the path of life."

If this assumption is true - and the bulk of Scripture seems to bear it out - then that means that God is in fact also giving us all the knowledge we need of His will for the moment. At any given moment, God has already revealed enough of His will for you to act, do, think, and speak according to His pleasure - for that moment. Perhaps not enough for the moment that follows, but for this one. When that next moment comes, He will have revealed enough for that one, too. Every Biblical hero lived a life of having enough revelation for the moment, even if not for the next. If He always gives us all that we need, then that means He always gives us enough revelation, too.

That may not be all the revelation that we want to have. We may want to know what we're supposed to do for a big life decision, but not sense Him revealing an answer. But if He never fails to provide for the moment, that means we have access to enough to live that moment well, even if we don't see the answer to the big question written on the wall. We may want to know which college to attend, but instead of revealing the answer to that question, God has revealed what to do right now - seek counsel, pray, listen, and wait. We may want to know about a career choice, but He's already revealed to us to work today with integrity, to work diligently to help the company succeed, and to see our coworkers as people who need Christ's love and forgiveness.

There are many things about us that may affect our ability to access His revelation: unwillingness to do what He wants, lack of interest in knowing His will, the distraction of sin that blinds our eyes and clogs our ears, or even just not being well-practiced in paying attention and heeding His will by faith. But He always gives enough.

This means a shift in thinking. To live with the assumption that God has in fact at every moment revealed enough to me to live that moment well, then I don't need to think, "I would do God's will if I just knew what it was." Rather, I need to think, "God has already revealed to me enough of His will for now. What has He revealed? What can I do to be a better listener and follower? I'm asking Him to reveal X, but He's not done that, so what has He revealed? What do I already know about His will to just get busy?"

I find that most often, we already know most of what we're supposed to do. We already know the character and manner in which we're supposed to relate to people and work. We already know that each of us has some responsibility for the Great Commission to make followers of Jesus throughout the world. Sometimes, we even know which decision He wants us to make - we just don't want to or are afraid to.

If we busy ourselves with what we already know to do and practice better and better listening skills through experience, then so many times I've found He uses that kind of faithful action to reveal more of what He wants us to do with our lives. In other words, as you search out His will, be busy doing what He's already revealed for you to do, and I believe He will use that to reveal even more of His will to you. I've seen it way too many times to even doubt this idea any longer.

What would life be like if we always knew God's will for our lives? Would things be radically different if we had a clear understanding of what it was that God wanted us to do? Would I work, think, act, speak, relate, risk, witness, live, pray differently? Yes! And if this assumption is correct, then we already know enough to work, think, act, speak, relate, risk, witness, live, and pray differently. We already have enough to have Kingdom priorities that are radically different than the world's priorities. It begins with the assumption that God will always reveal enough for every moment.