A Critical Look at Criticism

Why do we criticize? We see someone who is rude or espouses a view that we find distasteful, and then we criticize. Perhaps quietly under our breath, perhaps at the top of our lungs, or perhaps from our keyboards. To to their face, or behind their back, or publicly. Someone unethical, and we criticize - or they do something quite neutral, but we already don’t care for that person’s views, and we criticize the neutral thing they did.

We could do a lot of other things. We could ignore them. We could engage in a friendly debate without offering criticisms. We could look for the positives and downplay the negatives. We could even just be bothered, not really ignoring them, but offering no criticisms, either (“I really can’t agree, but you’re welcome to your opinion”).

But sometimes we criticize instead. We tear down, mock, highlight the negative (and ignore the positive), cry out “see?!?!”, and take the least flattering snapshot to turn into a derogatory meme. Why do we choose that response? We can do it out of unconscious habit or by plotting, but why do we choose a path of tearing down?

I can’t speak for you, so I’ll speak for me. Perhaps you have similar reasons.

I criticize rather than self-examine. What a great excuse to ignore my own bad ways for one more day! If I can criticize others enough, then I don’t need all that humility stuff needed to focus on becoming a better person. Besides, even a mediocre person looks pretty good when constantly compared to those who are criticized enough.

I criticize rather than truly help. This is a second way that criticizing is a convenient excuse! In order to truly help someone, I cannot be in a posture of criticizing. I can condescendingly offer “help” to one I criticize, but I can’t truly help in that way. Criticizing, then, becomes a substitute for rolling up my sleeves, getting over myself, and truly helping someone.

I criticize rather than offer grace. Let’s face it - offering grace is costly. Criticizing is a low-cost endeavor (pay no attention to the high cost of the damage done). Offering grace means that some wrongs won’t be righted, some illogical things will never be straightened, people who offend won’t always get retribution, and my thoughts won’t get the attention I think they deserve.

I criticize in order to get someone’s favor. Sometimes, criticizing is just to get a laugh from others, which is one way of granting favor. More sinister is criticizing in order to be favored by those on the “right side.” I want to be accepted by Group A, so I find ways to criticize Group B. Boy, I really like being accepted by Group A, so Group B can just twist in the wind.

That’s my list. Don't criticize. I don’t know what your list is, but I’m sure it’s clever.