Of Course Water is Wet

Dear Christian, just stop it. Please.

Stop expecting non-Christians to act like Christians. They're not, and so there's no sense in expecting them to. Christians are at times everything from flabbergasted to offended at how non-Christian a non-Christian is. That's like being surprised that water is wet. Worse, there are times when the Christian then responds negatively (and ironically, in an unchristian manner) with criticisms, insults, arguments, and judgments. Not every Christian and certainly not all the time, but far more than the absolute zero that it ought to be.

First and foremost, Christians aren't always better behaved. All of us know non-Christians with a more pleasant demeanor, a more consistent lifestyle, and more respectable ethics than some Christians. So, expecting a non-Christian to act like a Christian is not always desirable. People can wave a Christian banner to promote very unchristian attitudes and ways.

Beyond that, it makes no sense at all to expect a non-Christian to talk like a Christian. Many Christians try to "tame the tongue" as Scripture teaches, and thereby have a higher standard than the common base. But what kind of logic concludes we should hold someone who doesn't embrace Scripture up to a Scriptural standard? Furthermore, Christians can end up having their own lingo that eventually becomes unintelligible to someone outside the tribe. Rather than expect others to pick up our lingo, we are the ones that need to make sure we're speaking their language. Even demanding a clerk wish you a "Merry Christmas" is demanding them to speak like your tribe does.

Neither should we expect non-Christians to have Christians thoughts and values. There's no need to claim here that these are in any way superior, or even exclusive - it is enough to say that they are characteristic. There are thoughts and values that are particularly consonant with Christianity. Expecting non-Christians to have them and share them is unreasonable. We quite often do share thoughts and values with non-Christians, but becoming critical of someone for not having them oddly enough shows a kind of inferior value!

Likewise, we cannot expect Christian actions from non-Christians. This includes lifestyles, sexuality, activities, entertainment, child-rearing, marriage, and so on. Again, Christians aren't always the best examples of these, but why are we flabbergasted or offended when a non-Christian acts like he's not a Christian? We should only be offended when a Christian acts like he's not a Christian. Of course non-Christians act like non-Christians! (Which, by the way, is not always bad!)

Christian theology says that those who are "in Christ" have the Holy Spirit at work in them, transforming them over the rest of their lives. That means that we're being made better than we each used to be, but it doesn't mean we're necessarily better than anyone else. It also means that for those who do not have the Holy Spirit at work in them, we have no basis to expect them to live as if they did.

The only way to have that kind of expectation is to have the wrong Gospel. The wrong Gospel says that you need to clean up your life and live up to a certain standard in order to be acceptable to God (and His followers). Wrong! But it's what we can communicate to non-Christians when we expect them to live up to some Christian ideal or standard. We end up preaching the wrong Gospel (and adding in judgmentalism for good measure). If you boil down criticisms of Christians to their core, we're quite often criticized for either expecting those outside the tribe to act like those inside the tribe or for acting like we're not inside the tribe, either.

The true Gospel is that because of Christ, God accepts us in our most non-Christian states. Period. Yes, He has a certain standard for His followers for speaking, thinking, valuing, and living, but He's the one who accepts us before we do, and then He's the one who transforms us to become more like His ideals.

So, dear Christian, just stop. Stop preaching the wrong Gospel by inadvertently telling people they need to make themselves good enough for you. That's not even close to the Gospel.