I don't wanna waste your time, Pastor, but ...

Sometimes church folks are too nice. (Of course, sometimes they are too un-nice!) There are times when good-natured, well-intentioned people are a little too considerate. For example, when someone wants to have some time with me to talk about something important to him. Often times, people will say something like, "I don't want to waste your time, Pastor, but..." I hear that phrase a couple of times a month at least, and I really do appreciate the sentiment behind it. People are being considerate of the panoply of responsibilities that I have (which may be different from, but likely does not outnumber, everyone else's set of responsibilities).

The only instance when this is a real issue is when that considerate attitude prevents someone from asking me for the time we need. Out of a generous concern for me, sometimes people just don't even ask. The result is that we never get to talk.

First of all, it's not my time. I don't own the time that I spend for the church. God owns all my time, and the church deserves every hour that we've agreed I would give to the church. The needs of the church are directly or indirectly what I should be spending my time on. And managing programs is less important than talking with real, live people with real world issues.

Second, I'm able to say "no" when I really don't have the time. And I'm pretty good at scheduling which meetings I have when. I am not afraid to tell you that my time is already committed, and I refuse to consistently schedule blocks of meetings back-to-back-to-back. Just because you ask for my time doesn't mean I automatically have it to give in the coming week. Furthermore, the Elders are in the habit of making sure I'm balancing my time for the responsibilities they want me to invest in. In short, it doesn't hurt to ask!

Third, here is a list of some things I do not consider to be time wasters:

• Getting to know more about your life and history
• Discussing theological questions
• Hearing what you'd like prayer for
• Talking out difficulties
• Sharing a meal or a cup of coffee
• Hearing your plans and dreams
• Hearing about your kids
• Attending your kids' events
• And many more...

However, I'm not the Pollyanna who says there are no time wasters. There most certainly are! It's precisely because this time belongs to God and His work that I guard against them. For example:

• Talking only about sports, politics, or the weather, but never getting to more serious topics
• Talking about pop culture for more than 12 milliseconds
• Hearing about the same problems for the umpteenth time when the person is not even trying to make changes (that last phrase is crucial - I don't mind dealing with the same issues if there's some sense of trying to make positive changes)
• Gossip or trash talking or whining or blamecasting

If someone is in the habit of wasting time, then they won't get much of my time. I'm pleased that Grace Fellowship is not a collection of time wasters.

One of the greatest privileges that a pastor has is that we get to share the most real parts of life with people. We don't have all the answers, and we get in trouble when we pretend that we do. But we are often allowed into the realest part of life and are given the opportunity to help. My goal is to simply urge people into that space where God is more at work in their lives. If I can help people get into that space, then I consider myself to be wildly successful.

Don't be too considerate - you won't be "wasting" my time.