What is Success?

What is "success"?

This question gets asked a lot in leadership seminars, self-help books, and "positive confession" teachings. But I'm not asking the question in those ways. I'm not asking in a theoretical or philosophical way, either. I'm asking in a simpler way.

We sometimes experience disappointment because we don't feel "successful." We haven't accomplished something we wanted to, we haven't performed to someone else's expectations, we see people who have done better at something than we have, we assess our lives and don't find a very big sum total. (It's worse when the more successful ones are younger than we are!)

We know what it's like to feel unsuccessful. But one question I've learned to ask of those who feel unsuccessful is to ask them what success would be. Too often, they don't know.

I ask you - how can you expect to feel anything other than unsuccessful if you aren't sure what success would be?

I try to avoid definitions of success that rely heavily on factors I can't influence. For example, if I have a estranged relationship with someone, I can't control how the other person will respond. So for me to define "success" in this case as full reconciliation, my definition of success would be based in large part on something I have no control over. But if my definition of "success" is to do everything reasonable to seek reconciliation, to remove all stumbling stones within me that block reconciliation, to be the kind of friend I should be, then I can be successful in things that I have influence over (with the Spirit's strong help and guidance). Paul says in Romans 12:18 "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people" (emphasis added).

Now, full reconciliation would always be the goal, but my personal success would be in fulfilling my part of reconciliation, and doing what I can to foster it in the other person.

If you feel unsuccessful, ask what success should really be. Make sure your definition of success is something you have major influence over (again, with God's help). Most often, success will be defined as obedience and submission to God's will. Don't let anyone other than God define for you what success really is - otherwise, you're almost certain to feel unsuccessful, and not even know why.