Your Christmas Gift

For Christmas, I promise to not give you a present instead of love. I can't give presents to everyone, but I won't give anyone a gift as a substitute for showing love. I won't try to buy anyone's appreciation by giving a gift wrapped with expectations. Every gift will be an expression of love.

For Christmas, I promise to not assess anyone by the gift they give me (or don't give me). What you give, how you give, to whom you give is your business. You owe me nothing. My kind of Christmas doesn't obligate you to anything whatsoever. Giving you the Gift of Obligation to give me something is no gift at all.

For Christmas, I promise to never say "Merry Christmas" without thinking about the birth of Christ. You don't have to believe what I believe, and I won't foist my beliefs on you. I won't constantly remind you what Christmas means to me. But I will be thinking about it ... I promise. I think it's a wonderful idea that God became man.

For Christmas, I promise to show you respect for whatever holidays you celebrate. That's the beauty of holidays. They are times of special remembrance for important events or values that are personally held by a group of people. Respect is one of the values Christmas brings to my mind, so that's what I want to give you. In fact, I'd like to learn more about your holidays, if you don't mind. I hope your holidays are filled with family, friends, and celebration.

For Christmas, I promise to not let my "bah, humbug" tendencies ruin your day. There's a lot about this time of year that I don't like, but there's so much more about this season that people do like that I promise to keep my inner Scrooge to remain inner.

For Christmas, I promise to not ask you what you got for Christmas. But I to promise to ask if you had a good Christmas (or holiday). By asking you what presents you got, I only reinforce the "getting" aspect. I won't even ask what you gave, because that becomes a backhanded way to do the same thing. What I do care about is if you had a good time with family and friends, or by having alone time. I do care if this time we take our focus off of the grind was meaningful, joyful, restorative, and healing. Did you laugh? Did you celebrate? Were there things to be thankful for? How did things go with that friend after the argument you got into over the summer? Did the grandparents get to see the grandkids? How's your dad's eyesight doing?

For Christmas, I promise to remember that this is a hard time for some. This might be the first Christmas since someone close passed away. Christmas may drudge up horrible memories. Christmas may end up being a lonely time. I get that. I've felt that a few Christmases. I wish I could give you the gift of something other, but what I can do is try to be aware if this ends up being less fun for you.

For Christmas, I promise to look forward to seeing you again. Maybe it'll just be a few days until you get back from Springfield (every state seems to have one). Maybe it will be months from now. Maybe years. But Christmas reminds me of the vast array of people we've met and how much we would love to see you again (including those I need to heal a hurt relationship with). We've moved enough to collect a pile of friends who we may never see again. I still want to, and Christmas makes me want to all the more.

A What Kinda Christmas?

I am going to make this fantastic, large, delicious meal for you. It will take a lot of work in the kitchen, but I really want you to dine well. It's my specialty, and there's no one who can make it like I do. And ... it's free!!!

The main course is roast beef. Slow-cooked with hickory, it's so tender it cuts with a butter knife. It's not dry at all - the natural juices flavor every bite. Just a hint of fresh black pepper. But, while you're eating, be sure to remember the true meaning of roast beef.

The mashed potatoes are so rich, you don't need butter or gravy (because there's already a couple of sticks of butter mixed in - plus just enough sour cream). I leave the skins on the potatoes for a little texture. Piping hot, you plop them on your plate and they're so thick, they don't ooze into the roast beef. But, remember that dinner is the purpose for the potatoes.

The green beans are steamed, so that they are still crisp. Sprinkled with bacon bits and little fried onions, they are a medley unto themselves. They aren't waxy or soggy - just right. But, remember to put "green" back into "green beans."


The best part is dessert - pumpkin cheesecake. It has sprinkles of cinnamon in it, and it lies on a graham-cracker crust made by hand. It melts in your mouth, and makes you happier and happier with each bite, from your tongue to your tummy. But remember, the real present is just having you at my dinner table.

Now, if you remembered all four of these things for only a second, but then just simply gorged yourself to satisfy your own appetite, stuffing yourself until you were nearly sick, "remembering" these things doesn't mean a thing at all. Just thinking about these things for a few seconds, but then spending the meal primarily on yourself, isn't really thinking about those things. All you're really thinking about is your own appetite. The meal is about you, not the gift of the meal.

We have Christmas phrases: Remember the true meaning of Christmas, remember that Jesus is the reason for the season, put "Christ" back in "Christmas," and remember that the real present of Christmas is Jesus. We say these things to remind ourselves while the world is busy telling us Christmas is about something else. We should say these things.

But if we just say them for a moment, and then spend the bulk of Christmas gorging ourselves on presents, trying to satisfy our own appetites, we haven't really thought about these things very much. It becomes about us, not the gift of Jesus.

I encourage you at Christmas to refuse to let Christmas be about you, about gifts, or even about giving. Insist that Christmas be about Christ, or let there be no Christmas at all.

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Please remember to join us Saturday for the Bread of Life outreach. I will be driving back from Dallas, so I pray that I'll get back in time to join you.

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The next time someone wishes you "Happy Holidays," ask them, "Which holiday do you want me to have a happy one of?" Then listen, without a judgmental ear. Find out what's important to them, then share what's important to you - "The holiday I want you to have a happy one of is Christmas."

Don't Buy Me Any Gifts This Year

I'd rather not receive any gifts this year. Seriously.

God has provided everything we need, and work to cover future needs. For now, we have no unmet material needs. That might not always be true, but this year, it is. And we're grateful.

For this year, I would rather my friends and relatives bought some rice. Or maybe a soccer ball. Or little shoes. Or just some ugali. What would thrill me more than a gift-wrapped box is donation to hungry4HIM Ministry (http://hungry4him.com), which supports the Friends of Christ orphanage in Ahero, Kenya. There are almost 300 orphans at FoC, and little donations go a long way. For example:

• You can provide a 5 lb. bag of rice or beans for about $3.
• You can provide a 5 lb. bag of maize for about $5 (20 lbs. would feed the entire school for one meal).
• You can provide a chicken for $5 or a fish for $3.
• 6 pair of socks cost about $2, and a blanket for $6.
• Toiletries? 15 bars of soap for $3 or 10 toothbrushes for $5.

If you would like to provide a Christmas gift in this way, just write a check to "Hungry4Him", put "Christmas fund" in the memo line, and send it to:

  Hungry4Him Ministry
  427 Airport Road
  Dublin, GA 31021

Hungry4Him is in process of putting together a Christmas "catalog" to promote this kind of giving, but I'm just getting the word out early.

Or, there are many other ministries that have the same kind of fundraiser - giving gifts to their ministries in lieu of giving one another gifts (often times, gifts we really don't need anyway). I encourage everyone to think about this as a gift-giving idea, for whoever you would buy gifts for.

I would love it if this practice eclipsed "Black Friday" in the amount of money raised.