Toxic Dresses

Our sewing team is close to shipping their second batch of hundreds of dresses for the female students of Benard’s Vision School in western Kenya. The dresses are intended to preserve their school uniforms. The students get only one uniform per year, and for many, it is their only change of clothes. You can imagine how difficult it is to keep one uniform in good shape for active kids when it is worn every day for a year.

These sew-ers have had fun together doing great work making colorful, culturally appropriate dresses. The first batch of dresses brought enormous smiles to our students' faces, and the gratitude of those who run the schools. They have my personal gratitude as they touch the lives of many students I've met.

This may be the last time we send dresses. Why would that be? If it's has been such a positive experience for students and sew-ers, why would we not do it again? Because if we keep doing this, eventually we will cause more harm than good.

There is quite a good number of books that explore these concepts, the most popular being When Helping Hurts and Toxic Charity. They clearly explain how not all forms of “help” actually do good for the ones we intend to help. Sadly, many of the things we’re accustomed to doing can actually do great, systemic harm.

The first danger is dependency, which eventually leads to entitlement. By constantly giving material goods, especially apart from any kind of reciprocal relationship, we can create a kind of dependency similar to an addiction. The dependent ones become less able to do the very things they should be doing to help themselves, because it is continually done for them. Eventually, a sense of entitlement takes over, with a demandingness put on the givers.

Another danger is identity. By giving too many material goods too often, we can communicate to someone that they are less than, incapable, beneath the norm, or as one impoverished soul once said, “like the garbage of society that no one wants.” Furthermore, we mess up our own identities, by thinking that having material goods to share means we are not impoverished in any way, and that by giving to someone “in need,” we are their saviors.

On a more practical level, making dresses for Kenyan students can take away jobs from Kenyan dressmakers. Most of the clothes that get donated and shipped overseas are wreaking havoc on the local clothesmaking businesses. We have checked with the leaders in Kenya to make sure we have not been doing that, but sooner or later, we would be if we continue.

So what do we do now? We still want to help! Using clothes as an example, a better way for us to help is to buy sewing machines for Kenyan women to make clothes with, to help them be entrepreneurs. Maybe we donate the money to buy the cloth, and then pay the dressmakers to make dresses, so that they make a profit and get a business started. That’s just one example.

The one thing that brings people out of poverty is work. Not charity, not free clothing, not even free food. Work, jobs, business, entrepreneurship. Historically, it’s the only thing that has ever brought a community out of poverty. We can do better than making dresses, as good as making dresses has been.

Helping those in need is not at all about “doing something” so that we feel good about ourselves for having done something. It’s about submitting ourselves to the needs of others for their good.