A lot of you know that my father has been in the hospital and then in residential physical rehab for more than a week. I have appreciated the well-wishes, prayers, and questions on Dadd's behalf. Yup ... "Dadd." We call him "Dadd" and my mother "Momm." It comes from the way he insists on spelling his nickname, "Budd."
His anesthesia is taking a long time to leave his system, while he is also being given some strong pain meds. The combination of the two means that he has not been able to be himself cognitively. It looked like him, but it wasn't him - not the man we know. The foreign substances in his system caused him to manifest in a completely different way than the man who insists on two d's in his nickname.
While he has been in this state, I could have chosen to treat him according to how he manifest himself to be. Or, I could treat him according to who I know him to be - I could just be patient and wait for him to "show up" again.
His body, like his mind, has had it's struggles. As we age, we just don't bounce back from major surgery as quickly. So, I also watched Dadd struggle physically. But my Dadd's body is not my Dadd. When his body is weak or broken, that doesn't mean he is weak or broken as a person. When his fingers aren't as nimble as normal, that doesn't mean he's less of a person. These are just how his body manifests itself under the circumstances.
I could choose to treat him according to how his body is doing, so that when his body betrays him, I treat him as less of a person. Or I can choose to treat him as who I know him to be. I could just be patient and wait for his body to heal (but even then, I know that age hounds each of our bodies).
In any given week, I see several people say and do things that are not according to who I know them to be. They are bright, decent people with high moral standards, but manifested themselves in ways that were not rational, good, right, clear, or moral. No one is always good and kind, but we can also tell when someone's behavior is worse than their character, when they are not being themselves.
I could choose to treat them according to their behavior as if that's who they are. Or I can treat them according to who they really are - imperfect but decent people. I can be patient to wait for them to "show up."
We are fallen. Because of our refusal to completely be and do as God desires, we are fallen. We have fallen minds, fallen bodies, and even fallen situations. Fallenness affects our behavior, thoughts, and words - how we manifest ourselves. We are still responsible for our actions, but our fallenness means that we can't even behave as good as our fallen selves are, let alone perfection. Just like my Dadd's mind and body during his recovery.
I believe that only in Christ will we ever be transformed into our full capacities as human beings, but I also think many would agree that we all have sinned and fall short of the full capacity of man, not to mention short of the glory of God. Even our best behavior is fallen, and our best behavior is rare.
I can choose to treat people only by how they manifest themselves. Certainly, we do respond to people according to how they are presently behaving - liars should not be trusted, thieves should be jailed, and gossips should be quieted. But I can choose to limit myself to treating them according to only how they manifest. Or I can choose to treat people according to their full capacity ... even though they never reach it. I can treat people more according to who God can make them to be. How I treat them is my choice to make.
I chose not to treat my Dadd according to his hampered capacities (although I did have to accommodate them), but for who I know him to be. I chose the path of patience. I want to consistently choose the same for others.
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