Anger!

I'm not an angry person, but I can be an angry person. And when I am angry, I wonder a bit who this angry person is who looks like me, sounds like me, and is wearing my clothes. I'm not very fond of that person, and I wonder where he comes from.

I've studied this angry person - well after the fact. I don't get much out of him while he's angry, so I have to wait until he's gone before I can examine what he said and why he said it. He remains a mystery to me.

Sometimes, he shows up when someone else cuts him off on the road - which is a bit strange, because there a lot of times when someone does the exact same move, and this angry person doesn't show up at all. He can show up when people don't do what he wants, when people tell him things he doesn't want to hear, when people ignore him, or even when his sleep is interrupted. He usually shows up when he disappoints himself. And sometimes, he's in the same room as you, but he pretends to be me, so you just don't recognize him.

Where does he come from?

God has anger, but He has this thing called "righteous anger," which is very rarely true for me. God's righteous anger is that of a perfectly holy God intent on eradicating evil from us for our own good. Yeah ... that's usually not me. That's not where my doppleganger angry person comes from.

I've noticed a pattern. This angry person only shows up when reality doesn't match my expectations. I expect A, reality turns out to be B, and then he shows up! We can't change reality, so perhaps there's something to do with my expectations. I can't always expect what will end up being reality - the solution must be something else.

There's only one Being who has the right for reality to always match His expectations. The same One who has that perfect righteous anger, oddly enough. He's God. I'm not. And that's why I get angry.

This angry person that looks like me shows up when reality proves I'm not the one who can demand that reality match my expectations. I don't like being shown that I don't have this privilege that only God has. I don't like admitting it, so I throw a fit. That's when this odd stranger shows up.

Where does he come from? He comes from my demandingness to be treated like God. And I'm not very fond of that angry person. Perhaps you know one of his friends?