Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Tyranny in Your Head
The implications spur off into thousands of directions, from counseling to social justice to compassion to ministry. This is relatively new research, and I'm sure we'll be hearing much more about it. I am by no means qualified to speak authoritatively on this topic, but we do have a few people in our church who are currently learning quite a lot about it in a counseling context.
Where I'm intrigued is in the theology of fallenness. In the Fall of Man, humankind was altered. But it would be inadequate to focus on just one form of fallenness. We didn't just fall morally. We didn't just die spiritually. We didn't just lose a close relationship with God. All of this is true, but we also fell physically, including our brains. In short, we got "drain bamage." Our brains were no longer pristine, firing on all cylinders, capable of perfectly healthy decisions. "Adam? That boy ain't right in the head."
Furthermore, given that trauma and oppression further alter the brain away from health, we can cause even further physiological damage to one another's brains. By inflicting trauma, we can change another's brain. By oppressing others, we can change their brains. This means that even by lying to other people about who they are and what they are worth, we can cause negative change in their brains. If we continually tell a girl she's not valuable unless she's thin and pretty, if we continually tell the materially poor that they're just lazy, if we continually tell people God hates them (or treat them as if He did), if we continually tell people they need to behave better in order for God to accept them, we effectively kill part of their brains.
When our brains are damaged, it is harder for us to relate, succeed, behave, care for others, decide, and work. Which, in turn, only invites more lies about our worth, creating a vicious vortex of deteriorating self-identity. You can lie someone into the exact horrible thing you told him he was. This brings new depth to Jesus' words when He said that calling your brother a "fool" is like murder (Matt 5:21-26).
Salvation and restoration, then, would first be the grace to cover all the damage that has been done to us by being fallen. We believe Jesus offers exactly this covering with His own perfection. Second would be for us to fight oppression wherever we see it, which includes policing ourselves to never oppress people with our words - especially children, whose brains are developing rapidly. Denigration and performance-based acceptance are lies that kill. Third would be to reverse the damage by speaking restorative truth to others, especially about their worth in God's eyes. Fourth would be something only God can do - replace these broken, fallen, damaged bodies (including brains) with fully restored bodies. We believe this is the "blessed hope" (Titus 2:13).
Within the church, ministry must never assume that people who aren't responding to "plain truth" are stupid, lazy, or hopelessly rebellious. There is a part of everyone that cannot respond rightly to truth - we are fallen. As "ministers of reconciliation" (2 Cor 5:18), our task is to labor toward restoration. This means understanding the crippling effect that oppression and lies have on us physically. Perhaps you've seen commercials lately addressing "neuroplasticity," which employs certain mental and physical exercises that can rewire the brain toward a healthier state. Without understanding the patient process restoration requires, including restoration of a poorly wired brain, we will limit ourselves in what we hope to accomplish.
For those who know more about this than I do, I invite comments, additions, and corrections. My brain needs it.
Resources:
Allen E. Ivey and Carlos P. Zalaquett, "Neuroscience and Counseling: Central Issue for Social Justice Leaders," Journal for Social Action in Counseling and Psychology, Volume 3, Number 1, Spring 2011.
Beth Barila, Integrating Mindfulness Into Anti-Oppression Pedagogy, 2015.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
My Greatest Ignorances
I don't know what it's like to be an African American. I rarely have to "read" the room when I enter, I usually don't have to wonder whether someone is responding to me based on who I am or based on my skin color. I've never had some people telling me I'm "too black" and others telling me that I'm "not black enough." Even when I've been the minority in our neighborhood in LA and in Kenya, I so infrequently fall victim to racism that I can't say that I've had to endure it. So even though I can have an opinion about racism, it's only from theory, not from experience. Therefore, let me measure my words about racism humbly.
I don't know what it's like to be a Syrian refugee. I do know what it's like to see homelessness and I do know what it's like to worry about the worst that could happen. But I don't know what it's like to go through what they are going through. And to be fair, when we're talking about that many people, we cannot say anything that would be true of every single one of them. Therefore, let me exceed my fear with a greater measure of compassion.
I don't know what's it's like to have been deeply wounded by a church or a religious leader. And so I don't have any way to understand someone's anger and bitterness toward the church. I can't tell you much about what you "ought" to do next in your life until I know more about the story of your life. I can't expect you to understand my church context if your church context is one of wounding and mistrust. Therefore, let me listen and understand your pain rather than tell you what you ought to feel.
I don't know what it's like to be financially poor. Even when I was in college living on mac and cheese with hot dogs, I wasn't poor. I had parents who would catch me if I needed it. I had a job good enough to keep the lights on, so I never got in that downward cycle of paying even more just to get the lights turned back on. I have never worried if I would have enough groceries. I never had to ask "Gas or bread?" I have never known what material poverty does to one's self-identity. Therefore, let me be more concerned about someone's self-identity than their bank balance.
I don't know what it's like to be financially rich. I've imagined it. Of course, my imagination is always optimistic. I don't know what it's like for others to feel like I'm obligated to them because I have plenty. Not really. I don't know the struggle of knowing when a nice car is too nice. Not really. I'm not constantly told I must be greedy and uncaring to have so much. I don't have people trying to build a "friendship" with me because they just want to get a large donation from me. And I don't know when giving too much actually hurts a church from all members being sacrificial givers as they ought. Therefore, again, let me be more concerned about someone's self-identity than their bank balance.
I don't know what it's like to be a representative, a senator, or a president. I don't know what it's like to make thousands unhappy by making decisions based on information that can't be made public. I've heard personal stories from a former representative who was pressured hard by his own party to compromise his personal convictions in order to gain political advantage, but I've never lived that. I have only watched this grown man reduced to tears. I really don't know what it's like to always make half of your audience mad no matter what. Therefore, let me refuse to spend more energy tearing leaders down than helping them do good things.
I don't know what it's like come from a single-parent household. It took me a long time to understand why other kids liked hanging out at our house. I thought it was me! But mostly, it was that our house was stable, peaceful, and predictable - steady and a bit mundane. I never had my lone parent necessarily absent just to pay the rent. I never had to lay my head on different pillows every few nights, or worse, never lay my head down on a pillow under the same roof as one of my parents. I never had to want a marriage completely different than my folks' had. Therefore, let me add a little of what's lacking for those who need some days that are just steady and a bit mundane.
I don't know what it's like to be divorced. Lots of people do, but I can't identify with it. I don't know what it's like to be released from an abusive relationship, and I don't know what it's like to have bad go to worse because reconciliation was unattainable. I don't know what it's like to divide time with children and struggle financially trying to pay for two households. I've never had most everything in my life defined by divorce. Therefore, let me be at least one thing in someone's life that isn't defined by divorce.
I don't know what it's like to be you. I never will. All the good, all the bad - I'll never know. And so, I'll never really know how my words, my actions, and even the looks on my face affect you. I won't ever know how your history will filter my intentions. There are times that I so very much want to tell you what to do and why, and sometimes, I even have the right answer. But I will invariably be astonished when you don't react as I would. Therefore, may I always help you be a better you and never expect you to be a better me.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Yeah, it's just a game ... however ...
Why? Why have we as a society dedicated so much time and money for sports that we watch other people play? For a feeling! Most of us don't walk away from a game much richer. We don't get the trophies (instead, we spend even more money on t-shirts as our "trophies"). We don't get traded to better teams (as if there were any!). We do all this for a feeling. Or rather, for a set of feelings. We spend hours upon hours and buckets of money in order to feel something. I find that amazing! It's just a game, right? But I don't think it's necessarily bad.
First, it's a seven-month drama, and in this case, a drama with happy ending. There's a storyline with lots of different characters. There's conflict, not only in every game, but early in the season, with pitchers from other teams beaning our players, real conflict. Gordon gets injured and is out for a month and a half - will the team still be successful? Holland has to have arm surgery - will Davis be as good in the role of closer? We're six outs away from being eliminated in Houston - will we make it to the next round?
Then we have the life lesson of overcoming obstacles to achieve a goal. The 2015 season, especially on the heartbreak of being so close last year, is a great testament to enduring through obstacles, marching ever forward to a single goal. Management made some brilliant additions to the team in the offseason as well as midseason, each of them proving to be important for overcoming challenges that came our way.
Of course, there's a great lesson on teamwork, the various parts contributing the whole, all for a goal greater than any individual. Christian Colon gets one at bat in the World Series, and drives in the World Series winning run on a two-strike pitch. Terrance Gore, whose only job is to run fast, plays in only eight regular season games and only one postseason game, but changes the dynamic. Salvador Perez, the series MVP, didn't even get to catch the final outs, because he yielded to the speedier Dyson on the basepath. In fact, deciding an MVP was difficult because of the tremendous level of teamwork.
Plus, we know these guys (or we feel like we do). We get to know the players a little bit, their stories, their families. We celebrate because people we like were playing the game. Three players suffered the death of a parent, and we felt a little slice of those family stories. We await the imminent birth of Ben Zobrist's next child. We wait to see who Salvy will douse with water or how he will next embarrass Lorenzo Cain by posting another secret video.
One of the greatest effects was the sense of community around the city. We experienced community with people we might often disagree with on other issues: politics, how to solve racial tension, gender issues. People in the neighborhood, at work, in the store, and at the ballpark - we shared a sense of community with one another, high-fiving people we don't even know.
Sure, it's just a game. But because of this game, and especially this season, we got to feel something - we felt what we ought to feel about what truly is important. Life is a drama, and people have stories that matter. Facing and overcoming obstacles is long, hard work, but we need examples on how to do it. Through teamwork, we not only get more done, but we become better people. Getting to know who we work with is how our work becomes more than a job. And in the digital age, building community has to be more intentional than ever - baseball gave us a reminder we shouldn't be so angry with one another. All of these things that we spent so much time and money to feel through baseball are experiences we should also feel in our daily lives.
For followers of Christ, there's another lesson. Because of sports, for a moment, we are reminded how our journey in Christ will end - one day, there will be a postseason, filled with epic contests. And then after that, we are assured of victory, with a fantastic celebration. Because we know this is what the rest of this season holds for us, we can live now during the "regular season," confidently embracing the drama, striving together with teamwork to overcome obstacles, getting to truly know each other along the way in genuine community.
We should feel all those things in life. Baseball reminds us to. So, yeah, it's worth a little time and money.
* - Yes, I picked 30 years on purpose. :)
Monday, October 26, 2015
Brain Again
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Out of Context
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
"Normal" Doesn't Mean "Correct"
Last week, I attended GRID KC, a conference on the various needs related to foster care of children. Fifty blog entries on what I learned would not suffice, and I still have much to work through. There is one point, that got my head spinning in a couple of directions.
The speaker showed brain scans of two four year olds, one who had endured severe emotional trauma and the other "normal." Emotional trauma can modify brain function in a way that is measurable by a machine! The dysfunction of the brain, by no fault of the child, hampers the child from behaving well, handling stress, and being disciplined.
When a "normal" child misbehaves and we correct or discipline her, she tends to respond with better behavior. When a child with trauma-induced brain dysfunction misbehaves, it may not be within her control to manage her behavior appropriately. Furthermore, the same correction and discipline that worked with the "normal" child may not have any chance at all to work with this child. Simply put, the child may not have the physiological mechanisms to respond appropriately to "normal" discipline. But we typically see this child as "rebellious." Mercifully, some of the brain dysfunction can be reparable.
The hampered brain has been damaged by the Fall of man. Our sin. The child was born with a fallen body (and brain), but the sins of others have caused even more damage so that the child may not be able to behave or be corrected in a healthy way.
The implications in the fostering world are obvious, since almost every child in foster care is there because of trauma. It also has implications in schools and churches, although we don't always know when a child has endured severe trauma in order to react in more productive ways. But as much as this topic deserves space, I want to focus on "normal."
The "normal" brain can respond more "normally." That's not in question. However, the "normal" brain is also damaged by the Fall. So, even a "normal" brain is incapable of consistently behaving rightly, or more to the point, behaving righteously. Furthermore, even a "normal" brain cannot always be corrected or disciplined. We are physically incapable of behaving perfectly or being corrected perfectly merely by appealing to the brain. No amount of counsel, advice, rules, or threats of consequences can make these brains work righteously all the time.
And yet, like the more obvious example of fruitlessly trying to discipline a trauma-damaged brain through "normal" correction, relying solely on discipline for any brain is not reliable. But it's what we rely on almost exclusively. And then we judge one another for not behaving or not responding to correction.
This is not to say we aren't culpable. It's to say we're not always capable. We need new, glorified bodies with new, glorified brains to behave righteously on our own. The Gospel offers us that through the coming resurrection. But before then, we need God's power in order to behave better than our brains are able and to respond to discipline better than our brains are able. The Gospel offers us that, too, through the indwelling Holy Spirit for all who believe.
So, let's continue to encourage, correct, and discipline one another, but with the knowledge that we are limited in our ability for this to work. Don't expect what physiologically can't work all the time to work all the time. But let's also lean on, pray for, and encourage the work of the Holy Spirit in one another to continue to do what we simply cannot do. Let us afford the grace to one another that we are all brain-damaged by the trauma of the Fall, and are being transformed and renewed by Christ. That is the Gospel.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Whadya Remember?
Last week, Lynne and I enjoyed a nice, simple vacation. I was asked to officiate a wedding in Columbus, GA, for a young man who grew up in the church we served from 2003 to 2010. So, we made a whole week of it - first to the Chattanooga area to spend a day with dear friends, then to Dublin, GA, where we used to live, and then on to Columbus. Two thousand miles of mountains, rivers, lakes, evergreens, kudzu, and friends.
Those who were in the youth group when we were there are now ... adults. And it's wonderful. Watching personalities emerge and define, now finding their more mature expression, with clearer heads and more significant priorities. Kids that we had bi-polar relationships with - from thoroughly enjoying to angry corrections - now more than able to relate as adults.
We also got to catch up with so many of our friends, some in their homes, some at a party, and others still at the wedding. People that we broke bread with, stayed up all night in the hospital with, went fishing with (and the subsequent fish fry), hunted with, and learned the Word with. We walked through weddings, baptisms, births, divorces, illness, death, and daily life with some very dear people.
One special visit was to the home of an older couple, James and Mary. James is quite ill and under hospice care. In the weeks leading up to our trip, there was real concern that he wouldn't still be with us by time we arrived. He was, looking frail and surviving on oxygen, but joyful. They spoke about God's goodness and how much they appreciated seeing us again. James said our visit was his best birthday present, which tells you far more about them than us. Lynne understandably left several tears there.
During all these visits, there was lots of reminiscing. Many great memories, lots of "remember that time when...?" We caught up on recent events, but we also enjoyed recalling the times we spent together, the good and the bad. Like the time we unintentionally scared the youngest kids during VBS with a life-size lion costume, turning Aslan into a scary character for some traumatized kiddos. But there was one kind of recall that never occurred, not even once. Not one person said, "Remember that one sermon where you said..."
No one talked about a single sermon - supposedly the thing I was primarily employed to do for that church. Those weren't the memories that bubbled to the top. What we did talk about was the time we spent together, both individually and as groups. That's what we hang onto most. As important as sermons and lessons and meetings are to the life of the church, the greatest impact we have on one another is not flawlessly running our programs, but twisting our busy lives into one another. That is more church than great praise songs and a moving sermon.
What you, Lynne, and I will remember together will not be how well we did church, but how well we were church. Let's continue to twist our busy lives into one another so that one day we will say, "Remember that time when ..." and it not be about what I'm employed to do.